Work-Life Balance and Self Care for the Ambitious Women featuring Lexi Herrick

Lexi Herrick, founder of HerTrack.com, sat down to talk with me about work-life balance and self care as a multi-passionate and ambitious woman. Tune in to hear from this viral blogger, creative leader, and woman who supports women.

Here's where you can find Lexi:
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/lexi_herrick/
Twitter - https://twitter.com/Lexi_Herrick
Her Track Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/her_track/
Her Track Twitter - https://twitter.com/her_track
Her Track Website - https://hertrack.com/

Here's where you can find me:
Own Your Self Care Starter Kit - https://theselfcare.life/own-your-self-care/
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@theselfcarelifestyle
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarastrives/

Intro and Outro Music:
Summer Vibes by Simon More https://soundcloud.com/user-73416670
Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY 3.0
Free Download / Stream: https://bit.ly/_summer-vibes
Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/FTUkaPnYdLU

Transcript

Sara Miller: 0:08

With a thousand things on our to do list, a lot of us are doing life on constant autopilot forgetting to care for ourselves feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with the way things are. I strive to help you, the everyday woman to stop and to embrace the power of effective self care, in order to reduce overwhelm and anxiety and find fulfilment in your everyday life. I'm Sara Miller, and I'm here to help you stop going through the motions and start being the happiest and healthiest version of you all by caring for yourself, like someone worth caring for. Join me for conversations about self care, wellness, mindfulness, and so much more that will help you find your own self care lifestyle. I'm Sara, and you're listening to The Self Care Lifestyle Podcast. Welcome, everybody. I am here with Lexi Herrick, the founder and publisher of Her Track. Lexi, do you want to take a second to introduce yourself?

Lexi Herrick: 1:10

Sure. Hi, my name is Lexi Herrick, I am the founder and publisher and you know, in charge of operations and all of the great stuff at HerTrack.com. I'm also a director of audience development for a company called Horizon. That's a media company in New York. And I also like to write on the side. So combination of creative and data, and I'm getting to work with really incredible creative writers every single day through what we do at Her Track. So a little bit of everything, I would say, professionally and personally.

Sara Miller: 1:43

I love that. Are you still writing a book? I know, once upon a time you were?

Lexi Herrick: 1:47

Yeah, yeah, I'm actually working on a new one. So I have a completed manuscript. I also have a completed proposal for a nonfiction book. And I'm working on another fiction book. So the next stage, I don't know if you know much about the publishing space, but it's quite a journey into if you want to be traditionally published versus self publish, you know, you work with an agent, you work with publishing houses, there's a bit of a process for it. So I'm basically arming myself with multiple different projects when I go to market to try to find representation. And I'm on my third project right now, which is fun. And, and it's always amazing to get the opportunity to be creative, which is why I like writing.

Sara Miller: 2:27

Cool, well, you are such a busy person with all of these hats that you wear. So I guess, I would love to really talk about how you manage self care with that, as well as just with a you know, with Her Track you've been I mean, I worked with Her Track for a couple of years. And there are so many women that are giving to this project. And it's such an incredible thing, and you've built this amazing community. And you are constantly and still to the stay empowering those women that have worked with you both still do and even after. So how do you take care of yourself and take care of your own energy and needs when you're giving so much all the time? And you're so busy? And all that?

Lexi Herrick: 3:20

Yeah, that is a really, really great, great question. So I was thinking about this this morning, too. And you know, in preparation for this conversation, and one of the things I recognized about myself, and I didn't recognize it, maybe until recently, like within the last couple of years, is that self care isn't something that comes naturally to me. And I think that for some people, it might for others, it may not. But I grew up with a lot of really selfless representations of women, both my mom, my grandmothers, aunts, and uncles, you know, they were the kind of women that just so thoughtful and just so selfless. And so they're for everybody in their life all the time. And that was the example that I had growing up. So I was able to learn and and have it come naturally that you care for others and you anticipate their needs, and you're empathetic, and you're present. And you're there. And I knew that that was a valuable thing to do and a valuable characteristic about a person. But I think because I was so focused on like the outward energy of care and recognizing that that's what's important. And maybe it was harder for me or a little bit less natural for me to understand how to turn that care around with yourself. Because ultimately, the same way that you need to nurture relationships, you also need to nurture relationship with yourself in order to perform your best there or to be able to be there for those people. And I think that that journey is like I said, it's not a natural one. It's one that you have to be really mindful of and say to yourself, you know, what, what am I doing to nurture the relationship that I have with myself? What am I doing to anticipate my own needs and care for them? And seeing that there's value in that characteristic to the same way that there is and being thoughtful and there for others and sort of cultivating that externally? I don't know if you experience something similar in that regard.

Sara Miller: 5:02

Yeah, I mean, I think it's so common in our generation to have that like base of I mean, and even just as women in general to have that base of taking care of other people first. And it's something that, you know, for my own self care journey that started because I got to a point where it was unbearable, where, for me, anxiety specifically had really taken over my life because I wasn't pausing to truly care for myself, I was just overloading myself with things to do, and taking care about other people in my life and worrying about them and not worrying about my own mental health, my own well being. So I think it's a constant battle. For most people, for most women, especially just because of that societal expectation of women being the the caregivers, the empathetic ones, the ones that and that's, that's not a bad thing. It's just a balance.

Lexi Herrick: 6:06

Yeah, and about being able to turn that back to yourself. I recognized it once when I was thinking about making dinner. And, and I, somebody was going to come over as you have some friends over for dinner, and then they, you know, they couldn't make it. I was like, Well, I'm not going to make it just for myself. And then I had a moment where it's like, why is that? Like, why am I so willing, oh, I'll cook a big dinner, I'll plan a big party, or I'll do something really, really, you know, time investing, if it's going to bring value to other people. But when it comes to something that just brings value to me, then I'll just have a bowl of cereal or like, I'll just, I'll just have it this way. It's the same thing with my spaces my like personal spaces that are just for me, historically have always been my messiest, most chaotic spaces, the spaces that other people are in that like impacts their energy, those are what I'm going to make sure that I fit the time and to make them look good. So I've had to, like consciously rewrite that narrative in my head and be like, it's still valuable, even if it's just for you.

Sara Miller: 6:59

Yeah, how would you say you've worked through that, but that like rewriting that narrative? I mean, are you is this through practicing affirmations? What is like real tactically? What does that look like for you,

Lexi Herrick: 7:11

very tactically, and it is tactile, it's little things like that. So those two things are mentions of it, right? Which is, okay. Actually, like, if you're going to make a nice meal, sometimes you can do that just for you, just reading you, I'm putting time into it. There's something I think like, very, I don't know, like instinctual and human about feeding yourself, right. And like the value that actually, you know, it goes back generations and cultures, like we gather around food and its value, and its warmth, and it represents care. So I think doing that for myself and constantly, okay, I'm going to make something just for me, and I'm going to enjoy it. And it's going to be nice. And it's okay, that it's not for anybody else. And I know I'm busy. But I can make the time to actually do this one thing for myself. And I think that it's it's making those moments even though they seem small, even though it's like cook yourself dinner, instead of eating cereal for, you know, clean my office space, even though nobody's in here. But me, it's my office space. And it makes me feel good to be in it and have it feel clutter free. And it brings me less anxiety when it's that way. So just because there's dishes in the sink, and I could do those too. And that would be nicer for my partner, I can also do something that's just for me. So it's like those tactical decisions where instead of choosing to D, prioritize yourself, you make yourself a priority. Because I think to your point, especially for really busy, ambitious people, it's super easy for everything else on your to do list to go above the things that are for yourself that are reading or resting or I don't know, like you said that meditation or yoga, I really like to go on long walks and listen to audiobooks, It's so cheesy, but I love it. And of course, is the first thing to go when I get busier than I am like really other responsibilities. So I think that that's the main tactic is just when there's a chance for you to say I'm just going to deprioritize myself actively choose to, to prioritize yourself and to make yourself important, and that's reciprocal in the way that you feel. I think moving forward to Yeah,

Sara Miller: 9:04

so really becoming more mindful of when you're making that decision to deprioritize yourself because I think it's so easy for that just to become that, like autopilot that you don't even think about it. You don't even realize you're making the decision of like, Oh, I'm just gonna, it's okay. I'm not going to care for myself in that way. You're you're just thinking of it as I'm gonna decide to do this productive thing. It's

Lexi Herrick: 9:29

exactly yeah. In life like it's so amazing to me how we can consistently just iterate on and evolve our values and that can change your life in like such an amazing way because I you know, I used to for long portion of my young adult life and then into my adult life, really sort of like glamorize the grind, right. I worked super hard. There was a couple of years where I was, I was commuting and working in New York City I was in the i It was like an hour and a half commute. was in the city until like nine or 10 o'clock every single night. By the time I got home, it was like 11 wasn't eating regular meals. And then I'd be working on my side projects and writing and Her Track editing articles. By the time I get to bed, it'd be three in the morning, wake up and do it again the next morning, and, and I was exhausted, and I was sick all the time, constantly sick. And it was funny, because I just accepted that about myself. I'm like, Oh, I'm the kind of person that gets sick all the time. Crazy thing since I stopped doing that I don't get sick. I wasn't actually just that I was born that way. It was that I was putting this glamorization of the grind of overworking myself, of just being on subways, writing it up late and just craziness and never pausing. Because I thought that that was what instill value in my life. Without realizing that like deterioration of your health, both your physical health and your mental health. It's never worth it in pursuit of a goal. And ultimately, it's going to impede the success at which you're able to achieve that goal. And that I think it's hard to reckon with because inside, you're like, if I work harder, I'm going to do better. And that's not always true. Sometimes, if you work too damn hard, you aren't going to achieve the results that you ultimately want. Because you're going to get burnout, and get sick and being consistent, which is what I was. So I think that that's also true is just reassess your priorities and recognize that prioritizing your health and who you are actually will help you achieve more in the end. It's not about the grind. It's about becoming who you want to be and you know, achieving what, you know, you can within realistic expectation.

Sara Miller: 11:28

Yeah, slowing down. I love that, you know, I know you've had so many side projects over the years, and I have been very much the same kind of person where I've got blog podcast, you know, let's, I'm gonna work on this thing. And this thing, freelancing blah, blah, blah. Where do you draw a line between, okay, this is a creative thing that I'm doing for fun. And this is a side project? That is something that I have struggled with mentally, because, you know, I enjoy working on my podcast, I enjoy working on these creative projects. But then I realize I'm not actually resting when I'm doing these things, because it's really hard. It's a gray area. So I'm curious if that's something that you've gone through, or how you would differentiate those in your own life?

Lexi Herrick: 12:18

It is a gray area. Yeah, because in a lot of the cases is still work, even though like it isn't your nine to five, it isn't the same structure or formality as my my day job, so to speak, is it's still work, it's still me laying in bed until very, very late instead of resting, editing or working on the project. So I think that you have to think about it to your point, similar to the way that you think about your regular job, even though it's in pursuit of something that's creative, or it's a passion project, where it means a lot to you on, you know, an emotional and a personal level, it's still the kind of thing that can drain you. And so I think that being able to compartmentalize work, and rest is sometimes a challenge, and like you said, the lines get blurred when parts of your work. Your real are passion projects, and you know, they're creative, and they're meaningful, and they still are, but recognizing like so is the opportunity for you to pause and rest, spend time with loved ones, you know, do things that really do not tax you, but rather kind of fill your cup instead of empty it.

Sara Miller: 13:19

For sure. Well, yeah, I mean, I love that point of the Passion piece. And it being both a passion project but also work. You know, in my my previous role working in the nonprofit space, I worked very much heavily in a passion project, because I was very passionate about what I was working on. I was doing things I loved both on a like, literally the active the marketing tasks I was doing but also in the mission I was working towards. And that would be that would become something that was so hard to unplug from and rest from because I was so deeply ingrained in it because it was such a passion project thing. For you with drawing that line between okay, this is work time, this is rest time. How would you say that you personally do that? Are there any boundaries that you've set? Any things that you do that have helped you separate the two?

Lexi Herrick: 14:25

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, one thing is, obviously, mindset of it, because one of the things I've had to recognize, and it sounds like you know, you've confronted this personally, too, is that you can't save the world if you don't have enough energy to do that, right. And I like I can even think of an 18 year old me writing my college admissions essay about how I wanted to work at nonprofits and I wanted to achieve all this stuff. And then like I had this reckoning where it's like, okay, this is my financial situation. I have to do X, Y, and Z or you know, I've got five different passion projects. I could do all of these things, but I just can't You have to kind of recognize that like, if you're a motivated person to do good in the world, that's incredible. And that's awesome. And the world needs people like that, who are willing to wake up every day, and do things to try to make the world a better place. But the world also needs those people to be able to be energized and healthy enough to make that progress. So I think it's recognizing that like, taking that step is still good for what you're ultimately trying to achieve. And it doesn't make you less than it doesn't mean that you're not succeeding as much, it means you're doing so in a really mindful way. So I think just like having self forgiveness a little bit, and like Grace with yourself to say, I need a break, or I need to draw these lines, or I can't do everything, and that's okay, the world isn't relying on me to, to fix it. But if I, if I take this time, I'm going to be able to achieve that better. Probably step one. Step two is like very tactical and very physical. And not everybody can do this. But I have seen a crazy amount of growth from it, is to have a workspace. And like I now have where I recently moved about four months ago, and where I'm located, now I have an office, there is a door, this is the door, you can't if you're on the podcast, you can't see me gesturing to it. And having this place to come here and work and then close the door on it and have my personal life has changed everything because I previously didn't always have great workspaces in certain places, especially when I was in New York and Philly, you know, I was in very small apartments that I didn't have a desk at all, it was like on the couch, or at the kitchen table. My last place, I did have a desk, but it was in the middle of the living room, it was small, I had two roommates who space I was infringing upon when I was working. So I often end up just working in my bedroom in my bed. And the thing that I've noticed is when you bring your work into your bedroom, into your couch, into your your spaces that are personal with your partner with your family, you know, that's when it's really hard to draw that boundary line, I think like having a place that you go, and you work like this is my office in my mind, like I come here, and I'm in New York, and I'm working in New York, or I'm working on Her Track, you know, into the late hours, but then I'll stay in here and I'll work till my work is done. And then I can close the door and leave. So that's I think a big piece to one of them is mindset. So forgiveness and grace. And the other one is like a physical representation of setting boundaries for work. And

Sara Miller: 17:19

yeah, that physical represent, if you are not going to touch on it, I was going to touch on it that physical representation or fit like having a physical space that is separate is so critical. I know. When I first got married, we had a one bedroom apartment. So our desk space was in the living room. And I was still in school, doing freelance stuff doing doiing Her Track stuff at the time too, blogging, all those things. And it was like, literally, I was sitting on the couch staring at the desk in the corner. So I was never unplugging. And the shift that happened when we were able to move into a two bedroom and put all of the office stuff into a different physical space and have a separate space for life versus work was a game changer. And I will never go back.

Lexi Herrick: 18:14

Yeah, me either. I only said it to me once to when I was talking about work from home because I work from home transition was also difficult for me, I used to really, really get a lot of value from going into the office and from being around my coworkers and a really social person. And I get energy as an extrovert, I do get a lot of energy from being around others. And it motivates me, helps me sort of feel like I tuned into the goals that I'm working towards. So when the pandemic happened, and we were working from home and not only working from home, but working from home and also isolated because of the nature of the pandemic. Also not spending time with people outside of that, you know, I really struggled and I was asking people for advice. I'm huge on that. It's just when you're struggling with something like there's no shame in asking for advice, my professional career, my personal life, it's just how do you manage this. And I talked to some people that had worked from home for, you know, the majority of their careers and it wasn't something that just kind of happened in the pandemic, but they had been doing it and their biggest advice across all of it was to have a space, have a room have a door. It will change everything and you're so consistent until I experienced it myself. I was like they were writing amazing.

Sara Miller: 19:21

No. Yeah, yeah, you can see if you're, I mean, you you Lexi can see that I don't have a door on this room, but I put up curtains because it I needed a door something because it's like this weird little nook thing in the apartment. That's like not a room but it's like I installed the overhead light because there was no overhead lights. So it's like a plug in one. But it works. It's a separation. I can physically shut the curtain and walk away and I'm done with my day. It's I mean, I highly recommend doing that. If there's anybody listening that has not done that. Well, I guess I have two more questions for you. What is your absolute, like, favorite form go to form of self care? Bonus points if it's something that maybe is less typical. Something you wouldn't think of is like stereotypical self care, like bubble baths, face masks, cuz we really here like to lean into self care that works for you. And if that's all baths and face masks, by all means, do it. But whatever it might be for you, what would that be that like one thing?

Lexi Herrick: 20:35

One thing? That is a really great question. Um, I think it's probably reading, which it's like, I don't know if that's that original of an answer. Because I'm sure some people that like to do face masks also like to put in a face mask and read. But I love reading. And it's one of those things that it's not for anybody but me. And, and it's just, it's also something I've loved since I was a little girl. It's this big connective tissue to who I am, I think. And I really, really believe in storytelling, that's a part of why I do Her Track. It's a part of why I like to write, it's even a part of why I work for a media company, you know, I believe that stories and information, they should be shared. And the power of that is something that has sort of driven who I am for a big part of my life. So whenever I can detach and sometimes that's driving and listening to an audible book, sometimes it's going on long walks, and listening to Audible books, sometimes it's laying in bed and snuggling up with a book, whatever it is, I think reading for me, it's my biggest, you know, form of self care that really makes me feel connected to myself and brings value to me and that I really enjoy.

Sara Miller: 21:44

That's a good one. That's one that I have really loved. But it's also one of those things that is the quickest thing to drop off of my list of things because sometimes it takes more work to think about that thing that is so impactful to do. But I love that one. So I guess one more is where can they find you? I mean, obviously Her Track but...

Lexi Herrick: 22:09

on the internet?

Sara Miller: 22:10

on the internet, where can they find you? Obviously not, not physically...Can they find you on the internet and where can they get more of your wonderful wisdom and words and all of that?

Lexi Herrick: 22:22

Yes, I am all over the internet. So quick search of my name which is Lexi Herrick L-E-X-I H-E-R-R-I-C-K. you'll get a bunch of different sources you can read some of my writing either on on HerTrack.com or some of the other websites that I write for and syndicate for. I'm also on Twitter at@lexi_herrick, Instagram at@lexi_herrick, I'm all over the place. Social media that you that you like you can find me. And yeah, sometimes I'll publish writing sometimes, you know, it's just life updates, it's always a little bit of a combination of personal and professional on all of my channels. I like to blur that line. Because I think that we're a holistic people. And we have value to offer both on a personal and professional side. And a lot of times those are the same things. So you can find me there. I also encourage you follow Her Track at @her_track. I guess on Twitter, it's just at underscore, or @her_track. And then hertrack.com for the website itself. So Her Track, Lexie Herrick, here is how you can find me on your various social media platforms.

Sara Miller: 23:30

I'll be sure to link all of that. And I actually I realized we've been talking about Her Track off and on through the whole episode. And I don't think we've ever we've actually given like a description. So what the what is Her Track?

Lexi Herrick: 23:41

What is her drag? Yeah, so her track is watching. It's evolved recently into a couple of different things. But historically speaking, Her Track is a contributor platform, mostly for female writers, where different writers from all walks of life come together to talk about the experiences that they have, share insights, it can be everything from creativity and style and inspiration to career advice. You know, some of the deeper matter about personal personal life and personal self discovery and mental health and just, you know, all of the issues, I think that we we go through every single day. And sometimes we look for not just an outlet to express those, but also the ability to connect. And I started Her Track six years ago now, actually, when I was a viral blogger for The Huffington Post, and for a couple of other different places. And I also had my own blog, a couple of women had reached out to me, you know, after having read some of my pieces, and I communicate a lot with readers online through social media and email. And one of the things that they had brought up kind of time and time again was, you know, is there a way for me to write something to or like this brought me a lot of meaning for X y&z reason. And it was just all of a sudden very quick for me to quantify the value of my having been given the opportunity to have a platform and write and share and Express with others. So I wanted to do that for other young women too, which is where Her Track came from. And what it is today, we continue to grow, which is really exciting. At the end of last year, we went through a complete ramp up brand relaunch, we now also sell products. So we sell a bunch of gifts, some unique home decor items and accessories, notebooks for writing down all of your wisdom and all that fun stuff. So we are at our core, a content organization, a community of women. And then you know, we also have some some growth there in terms of our team and in terms of the value we want to deliver. So really exciting things for 2022. And beyond, on the Her Track front, and I'm, you know, I'm really, really excited about working on all of that.

Sara Miller: 25:43

I love that. And I assume you're always looking for more writers as usual, I highly recommend you plug in with Her Track, if you have the opportunity. It's such an amazing thing to be a part of. And I'm very grateful to have been a part of it and to have connected with Lexi through it. But yeah, thank you so much for coming on today. And for sharing all of your thoughts and everything.

Lexi Herrick: 26:08

Thank you so much for having me, this is really, really awesome. And just to kick it back to something else that I think is really meaningful is just this podcast. And I think all the work that you do, to try to promote self care, it's it's super, super important. And as we've talked about a lot already on this podcast, particularly for women and just societally and just intrinsically, it can be difficult to do but so, so meaningful and the world would be better if we all love ourselves just a little bit more. So this is really really great project to be a part of and thank you for having me.

Sara Miller: 26:38

Thank you so much for joining me today. Before you go be sure to grab my free Own Your Self Care Starter Kit by visiting theselfcare.life/own-your-self-care/. This kit is specially designed to help you identify what kind of self care will work best for you. That way you can start developing your own self care lifestyle. If you'd like to stay connected find me on Instagram at @sarastrives or on TikTok at@TheSelfCareLifestyle. Thank you so much for listening and I will talk to you again, soon.