The Self Care Life with Sara Miller

Why It Is So Damn Hard to Find Effective Self Care

April 12, 2022 Sara Miller
The Self Care Life with Sara Miller
Why It Is So Damn Hard to Find Effective Self Care
Show Notes Transcript

When it comes to self care, making sure it is EFFECTIVE is key. But, why is it so freaking hard to do that? Tune into this episode to learn the answer to that question and for actionable steps to move forward in finding your own self care that works.

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With a thousand things on our to do lists, a lot of us are doing life without any pause, literally forgetting to care for ourselves, feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with the constant buzz of anxiety in our head. I strive to help you, the everyday woman, to stop and to embrace the power of effective self care in order to reduce overwhelm and anxiety, and find nourishment and balance in your everyday life. I’m Sara Miller. And I’m here to help you stop flying through life and start being the happiest and healthiest version of you, all by caring for yourself like someone worth caring for. Join me for conversations about self care, wellness, mindfulness, and so much more that will help you find your own self care lifestyle. I’m Sara and you’re listening to The Self Care Lifestyle podcast. Hello, hello, I am so glad you're here with me today friend. We're trying something a little bit different. So basically, I am actually walking and recording, I am walking my dog around the block. And recording this episode for you, because I'm working through letting go of some of my own perfectionist tendencies are my own mindset stuff, just, we're just a huge part of healthcare. So that is something that I'd like to talk about with you today. Finding self care that is effective for you. And why is it so hard? Why is it so hard to just find something that works, and that fits into your life. So I think right off the bat, let's start here. self care is something as you know, if you've been around for a while, it's something that is deeply personal. It is something that you have to really narrow in on for yourself. And that and that is something I can definitely help you with. But it is something that is a lot about building mindfulness. And building mindfulness can be really freaking hard in this day and age where we're constantly attached to our phones, where we're constantly attached to our devices, our Netflix or whatever, where we're just constantly hearing other people's ideas. And that's not necessarily like the worst thing in the world to be taking in other people's ideas. But there's also a time and a place for being with yourself. Being with yourself and being able to process your thoughts and process your emotions, especially when it comes to recognizing your needs. And that's what the challenges with picking effective self care is knowing what your needs are in that in your life. I mean, this could be anything from knowing that, hey, I really need to move my body, I'm feeling really stiff, or I really need some quiet time away from my kids, or I need some time to hang out with a friend. There's so many different things that are self care, self care is just ultimately about meeting whatever your needs may be. It's a little more complicated. Recognizing your needs. So when you think about recognizing your needs, you might think well Sarah, I I just want to like Netflix and chill and not do anything that actually recharges my battery. And here's the thing. There's a difference between your wants and your needs. And there's also a difference in Super ever. There's so many different types of self care as well. So when you're having those like, that's about like, well, I don't I don't know what I need. Let's dig into that a little more because I think that you Not knowing what you need is the root problem. Or the root cause, let's say the root cause for not really knowing where to start, we're picking effective health care. So my favorite way to really dive in and start noticing those needs, is by experimenting, is by trying different types of self care. And just seeing how you feel, practicing noticing how you feel before, during, and after that self care. This is just something that starts to begin to become habit. When you've started building this habit of noticing, okay, I don't feel great when I do meditation, it's just not really something that is helping me. Or you notice, oh, my gosh, I feel so much more energized, after I spend some time dancing around to some music, or, I feel so much more energized when I stretch or do a little yoga ditty. Or, I feel so much more at peace, when I take some time to be alone. Or one of my favorites, I feel so much more refreshed and good. After I take the time to take a hot shower. Really like the works, you know, favorite body washed, listen to an encouraging podcasts, all of that. What I'm doing is I'm experimenting with this self care is that I'm also practicing, noticing my feelings, noticing how I'm responding to different things. So that's kind of where we're at. So being mindful, is something that does take practice. And that's where that experimentation piece is so helpful. But here's the other piece of the puzzle that can often make practicing self care challenging symptoms, we will try to just copy and paste somebody else's self care into our lives. And here's why that doesn't work. When it comes to designing your self care lifestyle, or in other words, picking self care that is sustainable, for you to build into your everyday life. And picking self care that is effective for you. Is so you. Because your life is different. You have a different job, you have different responsibilities, you have different time availability, you have different medical conditions, different mental, emotional, physical capabilities, right? Everybody is very uniquely made. And by recognizing that it'll start to make sense why you can't just copy and paste somebody else's self care routine. That's why you can't just take mine and put it into your life. There's also the note of not necessarily being stuck in an exact routine. And as somebody who enjoys routine, who enjoys processes and systems and all of that. That's hard to not have something that is just this is the routine this is what I do. Every time I need a little self care because your needs evolve. Your needs are constantly changing. For instance, if you run around the block it like full speed ahead. Your needs after the fact may be different than your needs after doing some quiet stretching in your living room. You might need to like breathe for a second and take some slow sips of water. If you've run around the block, and if you've done some light stretching you might want Some water, but you don't have to sit there and slowly sip it, you don't have to wait to eat until your stomach settles, your needs have changed because of these different choices you're making. So that's where that mindfulness piece comes back. Being mindful of your self care, and like have your needs, and what actions you're taking, and what that results in. What needs that results in what feelings that results in, or result in, is resulting in whatever you guys know what I mean. Being mindful of what of whatever feelings or needs come as a result of an action. Or really, that is so, so beneficial. And one of the key parts of being able to work ahead with your self care, and not breach that feeling of just being so freaking overwhelmed and so anxious and so frustrated, because you can't, you can't think straight. So with that said, those are kind of some of the key reasons that identifying self care that's effective for you can be so challenging. And this is something I can support you with, I am going to be offering one on one coaching via Voxer. So I'll share more details on that at the end of the episode. But I think it's really key to start, let's just give you some action steps. So if you are struggling to find effective self care for yourself, if you feel like there's these blocks there that just you can't figure it out, why can't you find the self care that works? Chances are, it's about creating more mindfulness. And that comes with practice. It's not something that comes super, super fast and easy. It is something that takes time to build the practice of. So I really I invite you to start there, start by identifying how you're feeling now. And try some different types of self care. And as you're doing those, identify how you're feeling. before, during and after. And here's how you know that self care has been effective for you. When you finish that self care, not necessarily daring, but when you finished, you feel a little more recharged, you feel a little better. There may be moments so there may be some exceptions to the rule such as therapy, therapy, maybe something that is very challenging and brings up a lot a lot, a lot of deep stuff to work through it can be tiring. But in the long term, you see really good results, right? So be mindful that there are exceptions to that rule. But when it comes to the little moments of self care through your day, such as exercise such as journaling, reading, dancing to music, meditation, whatever, whatever floats your boat when it comes to self care. Start there and consider how you feel. Well, that is it for today's episode. Thank you for walking and talking with me. And stay tuned for this new outro which will feature some information on how you can work with me directly. Hey sweet friend! Before you go, I want to share an opportunity with you. Before you go, I want to share an opportunity with you. I’m offering one on one Self Care Coaching via Voxer, a walkie talkie style app where we can exchange voice messages or text messages. Whatever it needs to be. Self Care Voxer Coaching looks like having me in your pocket for unlimited encouragement, advice, and support; Monday through Friday. Together, we will work through how you can build effective and sustainable self care into your life, as well as navigate the overwhelm, anxiety, and frustrating mindset blocks that may be preventing you from practicing self care right now. Ultimately, I can help you build your own self care lifestyle that will help you reduce the constant buzz in your brain, and the exhaustion that comes with it, and leave you feeling more nourished and balanced than ever. If you’re interested in learning more about this opportunity, reach out to me via Instagram at @sarastrives, or email me at Thanks again for tuning into The Self Care Lifestyle podcast, I will talk at you, or hopefully with you, again soon.