The Self Care Life with Sara Miller

Supporting Yourself with Routine and Mile Markers featuring Diana Ballard

March 01, 2022 Sara Miller
The Self Care Life with Sara Miller
Supporting Yourself with Routine and Mile Markers featuring Diana Ballard
Show Notes Transcript

Let's talk about the power of routine and identifying your priorities in this episode with Mom Training host, Diana Ballard.

Psst! Don't forget to message Diana on Instagram if you're interested in trying out her Mom Training membership.

Here's where you can find Diana:
Diana's Website - https://www.dianaballard.com/
Diana's Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mom-training-podcast/id1378348080
Diana's Instagram - @Dianaballardlive
Diana's Facebook - @Dianaballardlive 


Here's where you can find me:
Own Your Self Care Starter Kit - https://theselfcare.life/own-your-self-care/
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@theselfcarelifestyle
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarastrives/

Intro and Outro Music:
Summer Vibes by Simon More https://soundcloud.com/user-73416670
Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY 3.0
Free Download / Stream: https://bit.ly/_summer-vibes
Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/FTUkaPnYdLU

Sara Miller:

With a thousand things on our to do list, a lot of us are doing life on constant autopilot forgetting to care for ourselves feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with the way things are. I strive to help you, the everyday woman to stop and to embrace the power of effective self care, in order to reduce overwhelm and anxiety and find fulfilment in your everyday life. I'm Sara Miller, and I'm here to help you stop going through the motions and start being the happiest and healthiest version of you all by caring for yourself, like someone worth caring for. Join me for conversations about self care, wellness, mindfulness, and so much more that will help you find your own self care lifestyle. I'm Sara, and you're listening to The Self Care Lifestyle Podcast. Welcome, everybody. I am here with Diana Ballard from the Mom Training podcast, as well as the her Mom Training membership. Is that how you'd describe it?

Diana Ballard:

Yep.

Sara Miller:

So I'm really excited to have her here. She's a mom of four and is super passionate about helping moms learn the skill sets and strategies that they need to be their best selves. And I think that some of this, I know I've got like a mixture of moms and not moms that listen to me. So I really think that this episode can be really powerful for both of those groups of people. Any any woman I think can benefit from this. So really excited to dive in. Diana, do you want to take a second and introduce yourself? Say hi all that.

Diana Ballard:

Yeah, I'd love to Hey, guys, my name is Diana Ballard. I am a mom of four. We have a bunch of chickens and a big 150 pound dog. We love it. We love to travel, married to my best friend. We've done lots of really fun things in life. And I seriously like just so passionate right now about helping mothers become the best their best selves in and outside the home. And I'm just really happy to be here. It's I'm excited for this conversation.

Sara Miller:

Me too. And you're gonna have to take a second and tell us about your dog because we're all huge dog fans around here. So

Diana Ballard:

So I have a Landseer Newfoundland.

Sara Miller:

Okay

Diana Ballard:

She's a black and white, Newfoundland. So it's a little more rare. Usually they're one color, but she's like, kind of like a cow looking. She's black and white spotted. She's actually small for her size. 150 pounds a small males are usually 250 to 300 They're humongous. So yeah, we actually got her for free, which was amazing. They're usually very expensive dogs and someone gave them to it gave her to us. And she's just the best thing in the world. She's the best dog.

Sara Miller:

I love it. In my in my past life, I was in animal welfare. And I have an 80 pound rescue pit mix. So and I thought he was big. Not so much. Anyway, I guess. Um, so we're really focusing focusing in on that routine and organization today to like, support yourself. So how did you get into this? How did you What is your story? How did you get so passionate about helping moms with this?

Diana Ballard:

Well, it really started because I first wanted to be a dreamer. I wanted to travel the world. And I decided that I was just going to jump into it. So I bought myself a one way ticket to Europe by myself. And I just left K on Leap Year of 2012 was my leap of faith, we're gonna just jump right into this thing. Long story short, that trip showed me every single place I sucked at, it showed me that I had sucked at money management at planning at any type of strategy like that, that logistical side of the brain. Like was, I mean, I'm sure it was there because like, I love math and stuff. But like I had not practiced any of those skills of planning, routine organizing anything like that I was really creative and spontaneous, like at that time. And so when I went on that trip, I ran out of money, I was homeless on the street for you know, nights on end and sleeping around people's floors. And I mean, it was just any like rocked my boat. Like it was like, Man, this was not a fun experience. And so when I came back from that trip, I was determined to never have something like that happen to me again. So I sat down and I wrote out my skills that I like really needed to work on which I think it was like six or seven, and I just dove headfirst into that. So that's kind of where like the passion started. And then you know, as that was kind of growing, I wanted to become a mom eventually. I was 25 at the time I wanted to become a mom eventually. And so I realized that in order for me to prevent pain in motherhood, also that I had felt from that trip, I needed to really dive in to figure out what kind of skill sets I needed to be successful in my home. So that's where I started interviewing moms just I was in their home with pen and paper I had like hundreds of moms, anyone that would talk to me, tell me what you do, how do you do this. And I found out that the moms that struggled less, had different skill sets and mindsets and the moms have struggled more and one of the main consistent skill sets was routine and organization. And so that's kind of where I really like dug in, because I was like, this is one that's so important for me to learn. So that I can be able to like run a household efficiently. So that's kind of where I got started. And then just over time, it's just become almost like, one of my favorite things to do is try to figure out how to fit things in and kind of pulls in my creativity, and how can I take something I want and, and really, like, you know, make it whatever I want to, you know, make something possible. So that's kind of where my passion is with routine and organization, and probably my favorite topic to talk or

Sara Miller:

I love that. And I, I totally get that piece of teach about. that, like, just wanting to like systematize like that is something that I have always leaned into. But yeah, I mean, what a story to like, kick off. Wow, I'm just...wow,

Diana Ballard:

I feel like that, like the reason that moment was so influential to me it was because it hurt really bad. Yeah, it like sucked really bad. And like, I feel like those moments are really like when you get to a point where you're sick, like you're sick of, you know, things hurting enough. And you're like I'm done with like not being good at something like those are the moments that really help you change and become and I don't know, like learn to love your life more, because you're actually determined to create it.

Sara Miller:

Yeah, kind of that like almost rock bottom moment where that just it triggers something in you to just drive forward and not experience that ever again. So with that, let's talk about like, how did you start learning about these things? With the I mean, I know you talked about talking to these, these moms about the systems they put into place and how they've supported you. But maybe let's get real logistical. Let's talk about those systems and how you apply them to your life, both as a mother and as a woman, and how that helps you feel more balanced and less overwhelmed. And just like you can get your shit together.

Diana Ballard:

Yeah, no, totally. Well, I think you really hit something on the head there of like, you know, how do you pull it into your own life? How do you, you know, take what you've learned from other people and apply it. And that that is one of the things that I absolutely love the most about research, and asking questions, and really getting in and getting to know somebody and how they do things and what makes them tick. Because it's not necessarily that their system is 100% going to fit for your life. But it's what their system inspires your own mind to do. And that and that's, that's part of why we have, you know, we have mom training that we do workshops twice a month, because it's not necessarily that this person's going to give you every single answer. But what it's what it's doing is it's continual learning, to help inspire you to be better in your life and have something spark you to the next thing to the next thing of building your life and building your life. And so, it's so important to be constantly learning in whatever area you want to become good at. If you're if you're not good at your job, then focus on the stuff that's going to help you be good at your job. If you're not you feel like you want to get better in motherhood, then you need to learn from people that are teaching different systems and strategies and motherhood. If you want to get better at being a, you know, I don't know an artist, then you need to learn, you know, the skill sets and strategies from an artist, right? So it's, it's so important to realize that your life you can create by being inspired by other people. And that I feel that that is an innate gift that we have that we can hear something from someone and like, you know, maybe maybe, I don't know, 20% of it actually comes through and you're like, This is exactly what I'm going to do. Right. This is what I'm going to do for me. Um, so yeah, so when I started going into those homes and talking to all those moms in the beginning and I still I still interview people today I'm constantly researching I have my list of expert moms that I that I reach out to all the time which has been great because I've actually started pulling them in. so other people can be there in, in the research process, which is amazing. But um, it's, you know, we have to constantly be looking for different ways, and I hate being locked in a box. I can't stand it. I I don't know if I'm like claustrophobic in the fact of like, I don't like life boxing me in. But if I feel boxed in man, I'm fighting. I mean, I'm throwing elbows Not really, but you know what I mean? Like, I am not staying in here. Like, if I'm feeling like I can't do anything, or I have so much resistance in something, there has to be another way. And that's where the interviewing comes in. That's where asking questions comes in. And I believe that, that people don't ask as many questions because they're afraid, Oh, someone will think I'm, I'm not good at something. Or am I think I'm annoying, asking questions, whatever. But it really is important to have to our own self care to our own, you know, process of who we want to become that we continually ask questions and have different options. So we have different directions to go. And I think that's, that helps get rid of a lot of anxiety and depression, because we actually feel like we're controlling our life.

Sara Miller:

Yeah, I love that piece of that asking questions, being hard. And being like, I don't want to be judged for not just knowing this magically. But not no one just knows. They've learned from somebody they've learned from research they've learned. I mean, they've asked questions to learn. As a newer Mom, that's something I definitely struggled with. And especially as a mom on the younger side of things, where I was so afraid of being judged by asking questions, especially from moms that maybe I didn't know as well, because, frankly, most of the moms in my life that were not like my mother, or my mother in law, moms that we're relatively in the same generation, were still older than me, because, you know, I'll be 25 in March. So that gives you an idea. But opening yourself up to asking questions to being vulnerable, in that sense, sets you up to actually learn, but also to build these relationships and have those connections that support you through life,

Diana Ballard:

for sure. Well, and it, I mean, what it really comes down to is being able to make your own mind, right. I mean, I'm not saying like there's a right or wrong for exactly how you need to think but the the art of being able to organize your mind is going to give you so much power. I mean, and not only power, but peace, like it's really going to help you create that clarity in your life that you need to be able to like pinpoint anything, right and it's that clarity, that's gonna bring you the peace and fight off anxiety and depression, it's going to be the clarity, that's going to help you make the the detailed plan to be able to create that routine and organize your life. It's, you know, your brain work is, is so important. And it's really been clicking to me lately that you know, you hear people that are like, oh, yeah, like the the two or 1% of people, like they think differently. And you're like, Okay, well, how do I need to think of that? I realize now that it's it's way more than what I ever expected. It's more than just it being like, Oh, they think different about money. They think, no, they think different about possibilities, I think different about themselves, I think different about showing up boldly into someplace, you know, it's like, man, there's a lot more to the way that we think than I ever imagined. Right? So it's just so important for us to really, you know, practice our thoughts and our mindsets and organizing the way that we, you know, are intentional with our, with our actions, right, like every day. So it's just our mind is super important for any type of logistics, any type of systems and organizing and routine, it all first starts in your mind.

Sara Miller:

So organizing your mind. What does that mean to you?

Diana Ballard:

Yeah, well, first, I'd say it's one step at a time. So if you've never practiced organizing your mind before, like, Don't trip like up, you can totally you can totally catch up with yourself, right? of where you want to be like, Man, I wish I could just be so clear and make actions and move forward. Well, it's just one step at a time. And so definitely I would say Your first step is to knowing what's important to you and how to honor it. Now, the way that you know that, is that you you kind of think about where where have I spent most of my time, right? What do I do on a normal basis for me it's like service...you know, my family, I worked at a family, my family business for nine years when I definitely could have done something else with my skill sets and my time, but I was there I was loyal like, right. So those are things that are so important to me. So family is something very important to me. So and so then if I know that, you know, then okay, how do I honor it? And you honor it by making sure it's in your schedule? What does that look like to you? Right? How do you how do you make sure you're honoring like A, B, and C, and XY and Z on a weekly to a monthly basis that you're making sure you're hitting those mile marks for you. And that's actually going to help you prevent a lot of like sadness, and a lot of like, oh, my gosh, am I doing enough because you've actually figured out what's important, and you're actually planning it in your schedule. So you know, you have to have those mile markers, you have to have those things that are, okay, this means I'm doing a good job. Okay, if that means spending time with your husband a certain amount of times a week, or going on a date, or making love a couple times a week or, you know, reading to your kids before you go to bed, or having that alone time to yourself or reaching out to somebody to help them, whatever that means, like, Okay, if I do this on, you know, on a weekly basis, and I hit these three things, and I'm doing a good job, no matter what else My house is, could be a mess. You know, I couldn't be struggling with my own self care for a second, but I've hit these things, and it's gonna make me feel good inside. Um, and then the next thing is making space for your brain. And that that is something that takes efforts to be able to realize, Okay, what does that actually look like, it might actually look like, hey, I need to be in bed and an hour and a half the kitchen needs to be done, or I'm going to sit down and do my journaling, that's actually going to put my mind in the right place. Right. So being able to make a decision then of saying I need some space for my brain, I'm going to choose to do my journaling, or I'm going to choose to do the dishes for 15 minutes. And whatever I get done, which, by the way, when I ever whenever I say I'm going to do the dishes for 15 minutes, I always end up finishing the dishes. I'm just gonna, you know, because you're like, I got to do this really fast. And all of a sudden, like, they got done a lot faster than if I would have not set a timer. Right. But um, you know, just making space for your brain? I think that is such a such an important, you know, thing to to work on for sure.

Sara Miller:

Yeah, there's some kind of law around that that however much time you give a task is how fast you'll complete it. But I'd love to touch back on that. Your your list of your like checkpoints? Is this something that you like physically track in some way? Do you like do habit tracking? Or is this something that's more of like a mental checklist? Is it something you're running through your head throughout the day? How do you use this like, list of enough, I guess, like an enough list to structure your day?

Diana Ballard:

Well, first, I'll share a couple of my like mile markers that I that I have that, that when I get to an end of a week. I'm like, Okay, we rocked this. Okay, I'm good. You know, um, because I mean, there's a lot of things we fall short as moms and just people in general, like, I mean, there's lots of things that we can forget about. But so for me, it's I, I don't like going out to eat more than once or twice a week. I mean, TWICE, TWICE, is I start feeling bad about myself. You know, once I'm like, we're good. So actually, I would say probably my mile markers, one. Like, once we watch one one time a week, that could be me and the kids going out. Like we don't really go out as a family often, but it's usually me and the kids out rushing around, we're going to go out to eat. If I hit number two, then I'm like, oh, gosh, I'm spending money and I'm feed my kids fast food i That ain't that ain't good. That's not good for my mental my mental work, my mental capacity. Okay, so that's an example of one another one is making love with my husband two to three times a week, okay? I love the two to three because I'm like, if I hit two, I'm good. Okay, if we get three, it's like a bonus. Okay? So that's another one for me that I'm spending enough quality time with my husband, I'm making him feel like a priority. I'm making him a priority. And, and that's important to me, along with a date a week, we always do a day every week, excuse me. And that can either be that we get a babysitter a couple times a month, or we stay in and we do something else or we might even do like a family date, but we making sure that we plan something together. Once a week. That's that's fun. Okay. And then something like for my kids is making sure that I read them books every night. Now that is something that is like, Oh, well what about all the 500 other things you should be doing with your kids? Right? Oh, you should be doing this and this and that's nice. No. I read them books every night and that is what my mile marker is because I'm sitting down, I'm spending like 20 to 30 minutes, depending on how long you know, sitting on the couch in their room with the three older ones, and we're sitting, and then I'm spending time reading them a book, okay? Or snuggling with you, those are things that are my own markers that are important that are important to them. And so if you know, they watch a little extra TV one day, you know, I can pull back and have not watched TV the next day, different things like that these are just different mile markers that I can set for myself that makes me feel fulfilled at the end of the week. Okay, yeah. So, um, I mean, and that that has taken time, and I a lot of those I've created years ago. And so I don't always have to be marking them off. But it definitely helps. Being able to do a mom date a week, which sometimes I forget, or I put off because things are busy, especially with my business really growing right now I have not done my mom's eight. But I also have been as happy because I'm, I'm an introvert at heart, okay, I don't sound like no tougher, I'm definitely very extrovert at the same time. But time for me is like my favorite thing in the world. Like, go, I'm going to go to go, you know, I'm going out by myself, that is like, the best thing for me in the world. So, yeah, that's, that's definitely you know, you can have your charts and I definitely have my charts. The times when I'm maybe not as organized then there, those are the my some of my mile markers that I have, at the end of the week that I'm like, I did a good job because I did this, you know, they're simple, but they're potent, you know, that's the most important thing is you find your mile markers that are potent, like I rocked this because I did this. And I know that it's important to me, and and then that's how I do it.

Sara Miller:

I love that that is such a good starting place. So if you were, if you came across a mom, who is looking to start integrating that that mile, I think that mile marker concept is so powerful, it's just such a like tactical way to start organized, organizing your life organizing your brain. If there was a mom who's like ready to dive into that, to really start setting those clear mile markers, how would you suggest she get started?

Diana Ballard:

We're gonna keep it super simple, I would highly recommend just sitting down literally for five minutes, give yourself five minutes of brain space. And then that five minutes, you make some topics on your page, I mean, scribble this thing, it doesn't have to be pretty nothing, make some topics on your page of areas that you have, that you either feel guilt in, or that you feel like you're not doing enough, like you know, work, you know, relationship with my husband, kids, my self care, whatever. And you write down some tasks that man like I would like to do this are these are things that I do on a regular basis but sometimes forget like, what do I keep coming back to that I'm like, oh, man, I really wish I need to do this or you know, things like that. Just jot a list down under each one of those topics. And then be able to look at those and kind of just analyze for a second. Which one in each of these topics would make me feel fulfilled? And really using your inspiration, like let your intuition really kind of get in there and trust yourself and experiment with those little mile markers and said, You know, I'm going to focus on on these things right here and realize that if I hit these things, and it's enough, like every perfect with it, no. Are there times when I don't read them books at night? Yeah, like we're getting home late and stuff. I'm like, sorry, you stay up and watch the movie that was booked I'm sorry, you know, and you know, every once in a while that stuff like that it doesn't faze me, right. So just being able to figure out, have kind of a little bit of an idea of what like different areas you struggle in, or need fulfillment in. And then being able to see what kind of actions you take, which ones you need to take more and maybe just circle one from each one, one from each, you know, topic and kind of focus on those and try to make those a priority. Because you can't do 5 million things, right. But you can try to do one thing in one area. When you're when it's time to focus on one thing, you focus on that one thing in that one area and move on to the next you focus on that one thing in one area to help you feel fulfillment because that's really what what life is about is being able to enjoy what you're doing. Love yourself, love what you're doing trust yourself and, and then you know, making sure that you're fighting off any type of distraction that's trying to keep you from whatever makes you feel fulfilled, you know, across the nation, whatever like that. Like, just get your stuff done. That's gonna that's gonna hit that marker for you. And you'll start to get a taste of what it feels like. And you won't want to go back because you're like, oh, hold up like I am. I'm enjoying this right now. Like I'm not I can't, I can't put my time over here again, going back to the I'm done with The pain stuff of feeling guilty or, or that I'm not having what I, you know, want or reaching my potential like I'm done with that, like I'm ready to take it to another level and that's really what those mile markers do is they help you hit those points so you can gain confidence and, and keep building your self care and and your your love of yourself in life.

Sara Miller:

I love that so much. So, two final questions for you. If you had to pick one form of self care, bonus points if it's like not something that people would typically think of is self care, that is something that is so core to your needs. So key to your needs. What would it be?

Diana Ballard:

Okay, I love that question. Cuz I'm totally a weirdo. I'm just gonna say that right now like some things like not, I'm not gonna get weird on your show right now. What I'm saying is, what I'm saying is some of the things that fill my bucket when you brought that up. So one, I'm going to share two real quick one is I love going out to dinner by myself. And I can't tell you how many times I've had my dinners paid for by other people around me because they think that I'm like, sad and out by myself like, oh my gosh, that poor girl. I mean, and I'm like, Hey, thanks for paying for my meal. But you know, that just made my night even better, you know, but I love going out by myself and just sitting there with my journal and enjoying the nice meal in like a loud music atmosphere with good lighting and, and just been by myself to chill I, you know, usually go to like sushi or something. So it's like, kind of fancy ish. You know, I dress up and I feel nice, and I love going out by myself. So that's probably my number one that I do all the time. So my weird one is that I love to tease my husband. And that I mean, I mean, I mean, just weird things. And it's always when he's trying to go to sleep. So it's, you know, just like, I don't know, just being funny and laughing a bunch and pinching it behind, like, just stuff like, that stuff really fills my bucket when I can just let loose and just be myself and be the silly and, and act things out and do weird things. He's like, You are ridiculous. And I'm like, oh, you know, like stuff like that. Like, I feel like that's a piece of me that I need to let out more to just like the fun spirited, you know, which is, you know, fills my bucket to like, be that, you know, carefree loving, and I don't let myself do that as much as I need to. But that definitely is one of my self care things that, you know, when me and my husband go to bed, like after laughing for like, 20 minutes of like, things that I'm doing or, you know, pushing him out of the bed or pulling all the blankets off or things like that. Just just having fun, I would say is probably another form of self care for me. For sure.

Sara Miller:

Yeah. Just kind of letting out that inner child, I can definitely relate to that. I can Yeah, I'm definitely somebody who struggles with that, like being too serious and not letting that happen often enough, I just feel like oh, I have to be productive, productive, productive, and just. But that's such a good point. And something that is now front of mind for me and my self care list. Um, awesome. So thank you for sharing that. So before we go, please share with with my audience where they can find you. If they want to get to know you more and see what you've got to offer.

Diana Ballard:

Totally. So my website is dianaballard.com, podcast, The Mom Training podcast, on Instagram and Facebook it's@DianaBallardLives, and TikTok it's @momtraining. And then if you really want to come and hang out with me, definitely come hang out with me and mom training because it's actually the platform that I interview people that I mean are mind blowing. I mean, I mean, our last our last month training that we had was with a mom of nine children that is so freaking organized her meals, she plans out a whole month of meals she, you know, has budgets out for her whole kids, all of her kids are like, Oh, we have this much money like we could get we could get this many pizzas this many times a month. And I mean, it's just the stuff that she organizes is absolutely insane. So, like these are the type of people that we bring into mom training that I I am interviewing so it's like it's it's all of us moms that are in the monitoring of membership that come in and we all get to experience being in the interview and like they get to ask questions and do things like that. That's probably my favorite place to be. And so yeah, like and I'll say right now if any of your listeners wanted to reach out to me like I'll totally hook them up with like a like a month of mom training they can totally try it out if they want. I don't do that for everybody. I'm just gonna say like I I love your message about the self care lifestyle like I so like totally just message me like totally hook them up with that. I would I would love to share that because I think it's really important. I think it's really important for people to have continued education in whatever area and if their mom is definitely wanting to get better at that this is this is the place to be mom training is the place to be for them. Yeah, so that's where they can find me. I love what I do. I love I love my family and my life and I'm just so grateful to be on this podcast today. So thanks for having me.

Sara Miller:

Thank you so much, Diana. And that is so nice of you to offer that free Mom Training month. That's amazing. I will be sure to link all of the all of that in the show notes so you guys can check her out. And thank you so much for being on with me today. Thank you so much for joining me today. Before you go be sure to grab my free Own Your Self Care Starter Kit by visiting theselfcare.life/own-your-self-care/. This kit is specially designed to help you identify what kind of self care will work best for you. That way you can start developing your own self care lifestyle. If you'd like to stay connected find me on Instagram at @sarastrives or on TikTok at@TheSelfCareLifestyle. Thank you so much for listening and I will talk to you again, soon.